When I was living in Japan, my primary goal was to learn to speak Japanese. And I became fluent. I worked in a Japanese-speaking environment, I interviewed CEOs in Japanese, I wrote articles in Japanese for a business newspaper. But there was one word that always tripped me up. I’d be in a conversation with […]
Let’s say you’re on a cross-country road trip, from New York to California, for example. You program your destination in the GPS and then, at some point, you realize you’ve taken a wrong turn and are now going in the wrong direction. The GPS doesn’t say, “Well, that was stupid. Why did you do that? Why can’t […]
Years ago, before I became a professional coach, I had a colleague who reported to two bosses, one in the US and one in Europe. At one point, we were on a business trip together, bonding over an after-work drink, and she began venting about one of them. I listened for awhile and then pointed […]
Want a simple technique for more self control? Because in today’s world, we have a lot of options. And that means decisions. Factor in emotion and we’re likely to spend a lot of mental energy in FOMO, going back and forth or around in circles, feeling frustrated, confused, fearful — thinking about making a decision but not taking action. (And […]
In fourth grade science class, we watched a Disney nature documentary about the migration of lemmings. I still vividly remember the aerial view of this mass of lemmings scurrying along the path and, as they came to the edge of the cliff, leaping after each other into the ocean to eventually flounder and drown. Maybe […]
When I was getting my MBA at INSEAD, I often felt intimidated in conversations with my classmates: They spoke up in class with such assurance about mapping out the product portfolio matrix and calculating discounted cash flows, concepts that were foreign to me. “Wow,” I used to think, “they have so much self-confidence.” In the years […]
People think that to have influence you have to: Have fancy credentials (an Ivy League degree or experience! worked at brand-name company!) Be a brilliant expert who always knows the right answer Have a big title and recognized status Have an impressive track record (sold three companies! has thousands of followers!) Be a charming extrovert and eloquent speaker (preferably with […]
Recently, I went to a chiropractor here in Paris to treat the pain in my lower back. When speaking in English, I have a wide range of vocabulary to describe pain — throbbing, aching, burning, shooting, tender, sore, tingling. In French, however, all I could say was “it hurts.” If it had been a more […]
The other day, I was coaching two super-smart co-founders who need to improve their communication with each other if their company is going to thrive. One of the behaviors they wanted to develop was more productive disagreements. “What are your criteria for a productive conversation?” I asked. “One that’s oriented toward a goal,” said one […]
Are you familiar with this image? Some people see the young woman first, some the old woman. And often they have trouble seeing the other even when someone points it out, “See her hooked nose? Her scarf?” Everything that happens in our lives is like this, open to interpretation. Typically though we stop at seeing what’s […]