When I was getting my MBA at INSEAD, I often felt intimidated in conversations with my classmates: They spoke up in class with such assurance about mapping out the product portfolio matrix and calculating discounted cash flows, concepts that were foreign to me. “Wow,” I used to think, “they have so much self-confidence.” In the years […]

People think that to have influence you have to: Have fancy credentials (an Ivy League degree or experience! worked at brand-name company!) Be a brilliant expert who always knows the right answer Have a big title and recognized status Have an impressive track record (sold three companies! has thousands of followers!) Be a charming extrovert and eloquent speaker (preferably with […]

Recently, I went to a chiropractor here in Paris to treat the pain in my lower back. When speaking in English, I have a wide range of vocabulary to describe pain — throbbing, aching, burning, shooting, tender, sore, tingling. In French, however, all I could say was “it hurts.” If it had been a more […]

How do I know it will work out? In working with 1,000+ clients over the past 10 years, I’ve heard countless variations on this question. How do I know … … if I should start my own company. … which job offer to take. … if I should reach out to someone. … if the […]

The other day, I was coaching two super-smart co-founders who need to improve their communication with each other if their company is going to thrive. One of the behaviors they wanted to develop was more productive disagreements. “What are your criteria for a productive conversation?” I asked. “One that’s oriented toward a goal,” said one […]

Are you familiar with this image? Some people see the young woman first, some the old woman. And often they have trouble seeing the other even when someone points it out, “See her hooked nose? Her scarf?” Everything that happens in our lives is like this, open to interpretation. Typically though we stop at seeing what’s […]

You know that moment when you’re “officially” on vacation? You’ve crossed off the last task on your “get done before vacation” to-do list. Set your email auto-responder. Told everyone, see you in two weeks! And yet, you can’t seem to get out of work mode. You think of an email you need to send. Information the client […]

One of my good friends recently did something that surprised me. She bought a juicer. And not just any juicer — a top-of-the-line $300 cold press juicer. She’s also signed up for personal training sessions, after talking about starting to work out again for over a year. What surprised me was there was no obvious […]

I was speaking with a former client yesterday. He’s super smart, with a PhD in nanotechnology. He’s lived across Europe and Asia, and has a gift for connecting with people. He’s also a talented artist, whose work has been exhibited in public. And yet, he’s feeling stuck. Bored even. He wants to find work he can feel passionate about, where […]

Several years ago, I decided to enter a piano competition. I had about six months to prepare and my goal was to practice two hours a day during the week and three hours on weekends. Just to be clear, this was something I had voluntarily chosen. Sitting at the keyboard is not physically strenuous. The piano was […]